How to be Gentle With Yourself on the Bad Days
- April Goff
- Oct 9
- 2 min read
Some days just… hurt.
Maybe nothing went “wrong” in a big, obvious way. Or maybe it did. But either way, it can feel like the world is pressing down on your chest, like even the smallest tasks are suddenly heavy. On days like this, being gentle with yourself isn’t just self-care. It’s survival.
This isn’t about forcing yourself to “think positive” or pretending the hard feelings aren’t there. It’s about meeting yourself where you are, with patience and care.
Step 1: Lower the Bar
On bad days, the usual expectations you put on yourself may not be realistic. And that’s okay.
Instead of “finish everything on my to-do list,” try “do one or two essentials.”
Instead of “cook a full dinner,” try “grab something simple and nourishing.”
Instead of “respond to every message,” try “let people know I’m having a quiet day.”
Sometimes lowering the bar isn’t giving up. It's giving yourself room to breathe.
Step 2: Offer Comfort Instead of Criticism
The voice in your head might want to be cruel: “Why are you like this? You should be stronger.”
But here’s a gentle truth: self-criticism doesn’t speed up recovery. It only makes the day heavier.
Try swapping those thoughts for small comforts:
“It’s okay to move slowly today.”
“I’m allowed to take up space, even like this.”
“Bad days don’t erase all my progress.”
It may feel awkward at first, but offering yourself kindness is like giving your nervous system a warm blanket.
Step 3: Choose Softness Over Pressure
A bad day isn’t the time for massive self-improvement projects or emotional deep dives. It’s a time for soft, grounding choices:
Wrap up in your comfiest blanket.
Play music that soothes rather than stirs.
Watch a familiar show instead of starting something new.
Sit somewhere with natural light and just… exist.
Small, gentle acts can make the weight of the day a little easier to carry.
Step 4: Honour What You Need
Maybe you need connection. Maybe you need quiet. Maybe you need to do nothing at all.
Tuning into that need, without judgment, is an act of self-compassion. It’s saying: “I hear you. I’ve got you.”
A Final Reminder
Being gentle with yourself on bad days isn’t about giving up. It’s about giving yourself grace.
Your worth doesn’t disappear just because you’re struggling. You’re allowed to rest. You’re allowed to have bad days. And meeting yourself with kindness today makes it easier to rise tomorrow.
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Disclaimer: This post discusses mental health and coping with hard days. It is not a substitute for professional advice.
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