<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" version="2.0"><channel><title><![CDATA[Trauma Survivors]]></title><description><![CDATA[Trauma Survivors]]></description><link>https://www.fortraumasurvivors.com/blog</link><generator>RSS for Node</generator><lastBuildDate>Thu, 14 May 2026 03:57:28 GMT</lastBuildDate><atom:link href="https://www.fortraumasurvivors.com/blog-feed.xml" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml"/><item><title><![CDATA[But What If I Caused the Abuse?  (You Didn't)]]></title><description><![CDATA[If you are wondering whether you caused the abuse, I want to say this clearly before anything else. You didn’t.Nothing you did caused someone else to choose abuse.]]></description><link>https://www.fortraumasurvivors.com/post/but-what-if-i-caused-the-abuse-you-didn-t</link><guid isPermaLink="false">69b1cf58afa412402f667a55</guid><category><![CDATA[Informative and Educational]]></category><category><![CDATA[Personal Reflections]]></category><category><![CDATA[Validation & Emotional Support]]></category><pubDate>Wed, 06 May 2026 20:18:26 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_337a676c6c4e3550374d63~mv2_d_5184_3456_s_4_2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>April Goff</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Why Trauma Can Make You Feel “Dirty”]]></title><description><![CDATA[Many trauma survivors talk about a feeling of being “dirty” that no amount of washing seems to touch. They shower, they scrub, they change clothes, they try again, and still something feels wrong. Logically, they know they are clean. It can feel confusing, embarrassing, and isolating, and it often leads people to wonder whether something is wrong with them.]]></description><link>https://www.fortraumasurvivors.com/post/why-trauma-can-make-you-feel-dirty</link><guid isPermaLink="false">699f486412cb2e7c18f09626</guid><category><![CDATA[Informative and Educational]]></category><pubDate>Wed, 25 Feb 2026 19:13:39 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_721fc7e1c7dd47f3a138b94a5b8184b6~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>April Goff</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[You Can Understand the Abuse and Still Miss Them]]></title><description><![CDATA[One of the most frustrating parts of healing is realizing that insight doesn’t always change how you feel.

You can understand that what happened was abuse. You can name the manipulation. You can see the patterns clearly now. You can know that leaving was the right choice.


And still, you miss them.]]></description><link>https://www.fortraumasurvivors.com/post/you-can-understand-the-abuse-and-still-miss-them</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6967f6326ae8988b73fb4b32</guid><category><![CDATA[Informative and Educational]]></category><category><![CDATA[Validation & Emotional Support]]></category><pubDate>Thu, 22 Jan 2026 22:12:04 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_bb397068c5c541718f6848859bf586b4~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>April Goff</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Why Do I Feel Worse After I Am Finally Safe?]]></title><description><![CDATA[A lot of people expect safety to feel like relief. They imagine that once the danger is gone, once the relationship ends, once the environment changes, their body will finally exhale. That they’ll sleep better. That their anxiety will quiet. That healing will feel like forward movement. And then safety arrives, and everything gets worse. More panic. More intrusive thoughts. More grief. More exhaustion. Sometimes more flashbacks. Sometimes emotions that feel completely disproportionate to...]]></description><link>https://www.fortraumasurvivors.com/post/why-do-i-feel-worse-after-i-am-finally-safe</link><guid isPermaLink="false">695b3a8d564ad52a95965ec0</guid><pubDate>Thu, 15 Jan 2026 18:15:07 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_964b85e8d955456f9dba7b605270ab0c~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>April Goff</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Learning to Sit with Your Feelings When Someone Else Needs Space]]></title><description><![CDATA[When someone you love is upset, whether with you or about something else, it can feel almost unbearable to sit in that tension. The...]]></description><link>https://www.fortraumasurvivors.com/post/learning-to-sit-with-your-feelings-when-someone-else-needs-space</link><guid isPermaLink="false">68a6a4dd59c9093d870f5778</guid><category><![CDATA[BPD and Trauma Intersection]]></category><pubDate>Thu, 08 Jan 2026 19:01:08 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/11062b_a2e48da6bd6f4f36892bc5545ffba024~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>April Goff</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[It’s Okay If This Year Didn’t Go As Planned]]></title><description><![CDATA[As the year comes to a close, it’s easy to look back at all the goals you set in January and feel like you’ve failed if you didn’t reach...]]></description><link>https://www.fortraumasurvivors.com/post/it-s-okay-if-this-year-didn-t-go-as-planned</link><guid isPermaLink="false">68a694308efa79f18afc28e4</guid><category><![CDATA[Validation & Emotional Support]]></category><pubDate>Wed, 31 Dec 2025 18:43:03 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_4878654255575569413141~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>April Goff</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[When Healing Feels Lonely (Holiday Edition)]]></title><description><![CDATA[Sometimes the hardest part of the holidays isn’t what’s happening. It’s what isn’t. The empty chair at the table. The traditions that no longer feel the same. The absence of someone you wish could be there.

The holidays are supposed to bring people together, but when you’re grieving, estranged, or protecting yourself from unsafe spaces, the season can highlight loneliness in ways that feel especially sharp.]]></description><link>https://www.fortraumasurvivors.com/post/when-healing-feels-lonely-holiday-edition</link><guid isPermaLink="false">68a68f5c8efa79f18afc1b91</guid><category><![CDATA[Validation & Emotional Support]]></category><pubDate>Thu, 25 Dec 2025 18:33:02 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_51e5c2baa5c441f79245191e4a0bc487~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>April Goff</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Weight of Self-Blame]]></title><description><![CDATA[Self-blame is one of the heaviest burdens survivors carry. It creeps in quietly. ]]></description><link>https://www.fortraumasurvivors.com/post/the-weight-of-self-blame</link><guid isPermaLink="false">68a6872d0937a192ff9600a1</guid><category><![CDATA[Validation & Emotional Support]]></category><pubDate>Thu, 18 Dec 2025 17:47:23 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_dcd0599ef3d84ae7889a826b7d4bbe01~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>April Goff</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[When Intent Can Matter (and When It Doesn’t)]]></title><description><![CDATA[Harm hurts, no matter the intent. Even if someone didn’t mean to upset you, your pain is still real, and you are still allowed to feel it.]]></description><link>https://www.fortraumasurvivors.com/post/when-intent-can-matter-and-when-it-doesn-t</link><guid isPermaLink="false">689188557ae5e5096a9d1c87</guid><category><![CDATA[Validation & Emotional Support]]></category><pubDate>Thu, 11 Dec 2025 20:00:22 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_50434e6461755650626a41~mv2_d_3648_4560_s_4_2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>April Goff</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[You Don’t Have to Feel Joy Just Because It’s the Holidays]]></title><description><![CDATA[The holidays are framed as a season of joy, connection, and celebration. Every commercial is filled with smiling families, every song on the radio insists it’s the “most wonderful time of the year,” and social media is overflowing with decorated trees and cheerful traditions.
But what if you don’t feel that way?]]></description><link>https://www.fortraumasurvivors.com/post/you-don-t-have-to-feel-joy-just-because-it-s-the-holidays</link><guid isPermaLink="false">68a68a350937a192ff9608d9</guid><category><![CDATA[Validation & Emotional Support]]></category><pubDate>Thu, 04 Dec 2025 17:53:03 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_523553726d5a506f4f3430~mv2_d_3000_2000_s_2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>April Goff</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[You’re Allowed to Be Hurt, Even if They Didn’t Mean It]]></title><description><![CDATA[Sometimes the hardest part of processing trauma is that your abuser didn’t mean to hurt you. Maybe they were struggling with their own pain. Maybe they were mentally ill or overwhelmed. Maybe they didn’t know better because no one ever treated them with kindness either.

And yet you still got hurt.]]></description><link>https://www.fortraumasurvivors.com/post/you-re-allowed-to-be-hurt-even-if-they-didn-t-mean-it</link><guid isPermaLink="false">68918550703020ba46ea71ca</guid><category><![CDATA[Validation & Emotional Support]]></category><pubDate>Fri, 28 Nov 2025 07:24:03 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_632d71716c65513852456b~mv2_d_5760_3840_s_4_2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>April Goff</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Splitting on Yourself]]></title><description><![CDATA[When people talk about “splitting” in BPD or trauma recovery, they usually mean seeing other people in extremes like all good or all bad, safe or unsafe. But what doesn’t get talked about enough is how often we turn that same harsh lens inward.]]></description><link>https://www.fortraumasurvivors.com/post/splitting-on-yourself</link><guid isPermaLink="false">68a68b920937a192ff960c75</guid><category><![CDATA[BPD and Trauma Intersection]]></category><pubDate>Thu, 20 Nov 2025 18:13:05 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_62b3dd317c8043f99188086cffa5261d~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>April Goff</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Healing in Secret]]></title><description><![CDATA[Not all healing is loud. Not every step forward is a social media post, a big announcement, or a celebration with friends. Sometimes, healing happens quietly, in the privacy of your own heart.]]></description><link>https://www.fortraumasurvivors.com/post/healing-in-secret</link><guid isPermaLink="false">68917eff4191a08224402042</guid><category><![CDATA[Validation & Emotional Support]]></category><pubDate>Fri, 14 Nov 2025 06:51:03 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_1da1ce0d78374dc9bc53e54ab623bc15~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>April Goff</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Art of Pausing Before You Text Your FP]]></title><description><![CDATA[Sending that impulsive text can sometimes make things harder. Especially if you don’t get the response you were hoping for.

That’s where the art of pausing comes in.]]></description><link>https://www.fortraumasurvivors.com/post/the-art-of-pausing-before-you-text-your-fp</link><guid isPermaLink="false">689166a0f741774de105f869</guid><category><![CDATA[Practical Advice]]></category><pubDate>Thu, 06 Nov 2025 20:00:12 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_6d377a4b4239316272476f~mv2_d_5472_3648_s_4_2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>April Goff</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Why Calm Can Feel Wrong After Chaos]]></title><description><![CDATA[You’ve worked hard to get to a place where life feels… okay. Maybe things are finally settling down, or your relationships are steady, or your day-to-day isn’t one big crisis anymore.



And yet, instead of relaxing into it, you feel uneasy. Like you’re waiting for something bad to happen.

Like the quiet is just the setup for the next storm.



If this sounds familiar, you’re not broken.]]></description><link>https://www.fortraumasurvivors.com/post/why-calm-can-feel-wrong-after-chaos</link><guid isPermaLink="false">689160477c15b75829f7c10f</guid><category><![CDATA[Validation & Emotional Support]]></category><category><![CDATA[BPD and Trauma Intersection]]></category><pubDate>Fri, 31 Oct 2025 04:03:04 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_324d4e5547743731345677~mv2_d_3227_4034_s_4_2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>April Goff</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Healing Isn’t Fair and That’s Okay to Admit]]></title><description><![CDATA[It’s not fair that you have to heal from things you didn’t choose.
And it’s okay to feel that.]]></description><link>https://www.fortraumasurvivors.com/post/healing-isn-t-fair-and-that-s-okay-to-admit</link><guid isPermaLink="false">68915d397c15b75829f7bf14</guid><category><![CDATA[Validation & Emotional Support]]></category><pubDate>Fri, 24 Oct 2025 04:00:13 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_6e335f4a33687963656c59~mv2_d_5184_3456_s_4_2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>April Goff</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[What I Thought Healing Would Feel Like (vs. What It Actually Does)]]></title><description><![CDATA[The truth about what healing felt like to me, verses what I expected. ]]></description><link>https://www.fortraumasurvivors.com/post/what-i-thought-healing-would-feel-like-vs-what-it-actually-does</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6879627f092f8fbdfb9f3cc8</guid><category><![CDATA[Personal Reflections]]></category><category><![CDATA[Validation & Emotional Support]]></category><pubDate>Thu, 16 Oct 2025 19:00:13 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_67373737228544e88831f0762abb42e3~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>April Goff</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[How to be Gentle With Yourself on the Bad Days]]></title><description><![CDATA[Some days just… hurt.



Maybe nothing went “wrong” in a big, obvious way. Or maybe it did. But either way, it can feel like the world is pressing down on your chest, like even the smallest tasks are suddenly heavy. On days like this, being gentle with yourself isn’t just self-care. It’s survival.]]></description><link>https://www.fortraumasurvivors.com/post/how-to-be-gentle-with-yourself-on-the-bad-days</link><guid isPermaLink="false">68903950703020ba46e73c6f</guid><category><![CDATA[Validation & Emotional Support]]></category><pubDate>Thu, 09 Oct 2025 19:00:23 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_755f7a30582d79724a4945~mv2_d_5760_3840_s_4_2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>April Goff</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[When Reassurance Feels Good… Then Bad]]></title><description><![CDATA[Reassurance can be addictive.



You may feel the panic rising and your chest is tight, your brain is spiraling with what ifs. Then someone says the magic words: “I’m not upset.” “I still care about you.” “It’s okay.”



And just like that, your nervous system exhales. Relief washes in.

…Until it doesn’t.]]></description><link>https://www.fortraumasurvivors.com/post/when-reassurance-feels-good-then-bad</link><guid isPermaLink="false">689036807ae5e5096a99d4ef</guid><category><![CDATA[Practical Advice]]></category><pubDate>Thu, 02 Oct 2025 19:00:15 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_662d66199dde4b54bc27534da6846c66~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>April Goff</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Myth of 'Fully Moving On' From Trauma]]></title><description><![CDATA[If you’ve ever been told to “just move on,” you know how heavy that pressure feels. It can feel like people are telling you that your...]]></description><link>https://www.fortraumasurvivors.com/post/the-myth-of-fully-moving-on-from-trauma</link><guid isPermaLink="false">68903316b00b0ea0c7488a32</guid><category><![CDATA[Personal Reflections]]></category><pubDate>Fri, 26 Sep 2025 06:15:14 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_366d55377543414f363449~mv2_d_4032_3024_s_4_2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>April Goff</dc:creator></item></channel></rss>