When Healing Feels Lonely (Holiday Edition)

Sometimes the hardest part of the holidays isn’t what’s happening. It’s what isn’t. The empty chair at the table. The traditions that no longer feel the same. The absence of someone you wish could be there.

The holidays are supposed to bring people together, but when you’re grieving, estranged, or protecting yourself from unsafe spaces, the season can highlight loneliness in ways that feel especially sharp.

That loneliness can come from so many places:

• Missing people who are no longer here.

• Protecting yourself by staying away from unsafe family members.

• Feeling disconnected while everyone else seems to be celebrating.

• Watching the world look warm and together while you feel left out in the cold.

Whatever the reason, your loneliness is valid.

It’s easy to turn loneliness into a story about yourself: “I’m unlovable. I’m too much. I’ll always be alone.” But loneliness is not proof that you are broken. It's proof that you’re human. It’s what happens when you long for connection but don’t have it in the way you need.

And sometimes, keeping yourself safe means stepping away from people who can’t love you well. That choice doesn’t mean you failed. It means you protected yourself.

Being lonely doesn’t mean you have to stay in pain. Sometimes, even small comforts can help soften the ache:

• Light a candle and sit with its glow.

• Wrap up in your warmest blanket.

• Watch a movie or listen to music that feels safe and familiar.

• Reach out to someone who feels safe, even if it’s just a message or a small hello.

These aren’t “fixes.” They’re small ways of reminding yourself that you deserve care, even if you’re the one giving it.

Healing can feel lonely, and holidays can make that ache even sharper. But you are not alone in this experience. Your worth is not defined by how you spend this season.

You deserve love and safety. Not just on holidays, but always.