How Do I Forgive Myself?
Forgiving yourself can be hard, whether it’s for hurting someone, making a choice you now regret, or simply feeling like you “should have done better.” But holding onto self-blame doesn’t help you or anyone else heal.
Self-forgiveness isn’t about excusing what happened. It’s about taking accountability, learning, and allowing yourself to move forward instead of staying trapped in the past.
Many of us, especially those who have experienced trauma, blame ourselves for things we couldn’t have predicted. This is often hindsight bias judging our past selves with knowledge we only gained later. You can’t expect your past self to have known what you know now.
A powerful tool is the Double Standard Method: talk to yourself the way you’d talk to a friend. If a friend said, “I’m a failure because I messed up,” you’d remind them that one mistake doesn’t define them. You deserve the same compassion.
Forgiveness is personal. It takes time and self-kindness, and it may look different for everyone. Give your past self credit. They got you this far.